Hello Dolls & Gents,
“Gilmore Girls is a show that should be watched under a special developmental program.” – Rue 2025
It takes a very special and
really creative TV show to keep me committed for more than 1 or 2 seasons. Hack
even 3 episodes. Gilmore Girls shocked me to my core. I do not regret watching 158
episodes and spending an estimated handful of almost 6,975 something hours
watching, and carefully completing each season as it was masterfully or
haphazardly produced and streamed for us.
There were several hits and
misses throughout 7 seasons. But if I were to sum it up, there was never really
an in between. The episodes were either a densely weaved web of inter-connected
storylines making me question every emotion, vent I have uttered, thought and
decision I have had and made till this point in time, or the filler material
made me want to pull all my hair out. Because those scenes may not have
resonated with the characteristics of the characters that I saw on screen.
You ever wish that you could get
a sample or a blueprint of how things will pan out in life? Gilmore Girls comes
close. No matter the demographic, I believe that Gilmore Girls is a
coming-of-age TV show for all girls and women. Because sometimes, you need a
lot of visuals to put things to perspective (perhaps it’s the biased visual
learner in me saying this), and sometimes, no matter the age, we are stunted,
anticipating coming of age until we are ‘ready’. Or better yet, to outgrow a
perpetuating phase or era that lacks purpose.
This is not to say that to
resonate with the characters, you ought to be living the exact lives of Emily,
Lorelai or Rory. But in the human and sociological aspect, this show makes you
reflect deeply as a woman paving your way to, in the end, ultimately becoming
comfortable with the ‘self’, ‘others’ and ‘you, with others’.
In other words, the show
cultivates ‘self-acceptance’ while it kindly addresses the scope of growth you
are yet to experience. Which is something I needed, to cancel out failing,
unnecessary and inhibiting thoughts that hindered me from seeking and
maintaining healthy relationships. This show is a guided canvas (for anyone
wishing to learn), to color it in if you will, with your own experiences.
The premise of the show is that
not one daughter (Lorelai, Rory and Lane, excluding Paris), actually fulfilled
the aspirations set by their own mothers; following a road map which was
pre-planned and laid out for them. Each daughter chose their own path, and
guaranteed that their mothers are subjected to horrors beyond their wildest
imagination. And the consensus would perhaps be, that it is just a very
‘feminine’ thing.
All protagonists and supporting
characters however, remind us that ‘self-prowess’ alone may not be sufficient
to navigate our lives. While the characters are busy challenging traditional
archetypes, the central theme emphasizes that no matter how great we are, or
how big of an ego we armor ourselves with, none of us are ever truly
‘self-made’ (bet Michele would disagree). At some point, we must allow
people to ‘follow us, where we lead’. In doing so, we hope to drift
through life a little lighter, bury the hatchet and feel the nicotine kick in
without a cigarette puff.
Some argue that the show sets un-ideal
heteronormative postfeminist ideologies. I disagree. The social commentary on
the show affects both ‘the man’ and ‘the woman’, and even depicts how classism
affects the quality of life for each character (which for me is very fair).
The argument is strengthened further by storylines depicting Lorelai’s
available options of numerous financial resources to fall back on (thus
invalidating her struggles as a single mom), rendering a very shallow
understanding of the overall narrative.
Each Gilmore Girl represents a
wave of feminism. They clash with each other because of existing generational
gaps and most times, due to lack of maturity. Never due to archetypes set in
traditional society. If you feel otherwise, did we watch the same show?
Now how did this TV show change
my brain chemistry? Let’s go:
The show makes you comfortable
with the actual idea of being a woman. The more modern wave of feminism tries
to make the ‘female’ powerful in every sense by competing her with the ‘male’.
So, you end up with an unrealistic, oversexualized and even at times an unbearably
overzealous character that is just as clueless as the audience questioning her every
decision.
Gilmore Girls is very personable, and the female characters do not massively shift their femininity to achieve social cohesion, and embraces certain quirks, certain psychological viscosity that inevitably brings catharsis to us in real life. It makes you question why certain ‘female emotions’ arise and makes you deeply reflect on how you could have approached those situations, or how you could approach similar situations…well, not better, but perhaps more refined, without actually invalidating said ‘female emotions’.
‘Manifesting’ as a strategy to
life. We may not consciously realize it. But most girls can totally understand
that ambitious speech very much puts meaningful cognition to gear. The more
speech is involved, the more actions we take to actualize or to rebut something.
For these characters, ambitious speech takes place in multiple contexts and
multiple facets. They are for the most part inter-connected, but the language varies from
one context to the other. This is why success is ‘imperative’, and failure is so ‘difficult’.
The script is written so beautifully that even 3-5-minute-long interactions
between each female character helps to later on develop nuanced plots which
renders you satisfied.
Depending on circumstance, it maybe
never too late to mend what is broken. Emily was, and will always be my favorite
character. Her character arc is the most full-circle thing I have witnessed in
this show and in every sense of the way, helps me get a very innate
understanding of my own relationship with Fathun. Not to mention, she has the
best lines.
Emily pursued a journey that was immensely
difficult for her, but she never once gave up on anyone that ‘mattered’, just because
the conversation turned sour. She was the accurate relatable overzealous, until
her zealous nature became indifferent and she was able to just ‘accept’ things
for the way they were.
We see the ‘female ego’
conceptualize many times throughout the show. But the ego is subdued by very
admirable counter reactions and female traits, that we can all hope to mirror
in our lives. It is difficult to elaborate on the female friendships and why
they last long-term in the show. Because in most cases we tend to seek ‘peace’
and set ‘boundaries’.
I’d say that what drives the
friendships in the show is deeper than fiction. Perhaps it is the acceptance
and understanding of the roles they play in each other’s lives (yes it may be
limited to acting. I know.).
There are many positive and
negative violations of expectations in the show. But rather than outwardly
lingering with the feelings spurred by the negative violations, the ‘best
friend’ always takes it upon themselves to manage those feelings. An example
would be the episode; ‘Always A Godmother, Never A God’.
This could be interpreted as making
massive compromises and enabling toxic traits. But compromises take place
on both sides of the friendship in varying contexts. In the end, negative
violations have no place for deep rooted anguish, when we hold so much power to
‘let go’ of the ‘negative emotion’ rather than the ‘person’, and it
takes a lot of willpower to be able to positively re-frame our own expectations
while continuing to achieve cohesion.
This is the pivotal moment in my
opinion which cut the pendulum for Rory, and she immediately started flailing waywardly.
What did I learn? Even if our children are on the envisioned trajectory, it does
not guarantee a failproof success story. It taught me that putting a child on a
pedestal comes at a hefty price.
Despite her maturity, Rory could
not listen to criticism and cogitate thanks to her upbringing. No, her family
is not entirely guilty. Yes, Rory bears some responsibility. But imagine if she
focused on the right thing after this single conversation with Huntzberger.
Maybe then, ‘A Year In The Life’ would have been definitely different. Sitting with criticism is very uncomfortable and even draining. But put aside the ego, and that criticism sometimes tend to look a whole lot like, advise.
Paris is not your traditional role model, but she is definitely the most relatable. If imposter syndrome could be depicted in a scene. It would be this bathroom meltdown scene. Contrary to Paris’ belief, no, the suitcase is not empty. That’s the void she created in the pursuit of perfection. But one thing is for sure, Rory should have definitely taken a page from Paris’ preparedness for the real world.
We are definitely, 100%
susceptible to jealousy and envy towards our own children. Don’t fight with me on this. Just
close the blog, take a walk.
I will forever admire every
single time Lorelai stared glossy-eyed and achingly, watching her own parents outwardly
reciprocate love for Rory. Yet she never schemed or sabotaged Rory’s relationship
with her grandparents. With such dense pain, one is bound to express how they
feel. Hence, I find the times Lorelai constantly nagging to Emily and Richard
very natural and relatable.
Not only do we never grow up in the
eyes of our parents, but we too, do not want to let go of our inner-child
around them.
He knew this was not true… That’s it. That is my reflection.
A father’s unconditional love may not always be how we envision it.
Sure. I say to myself now and laugh.
Men know other men. If you find that saying oppressive under
any circumstance in your life. Let Luke ‘the softy’ elaborate and shed
light on a new perspective for you.
The scene after, is the ideal way to argue (as a family unit),
if only people acquired the skill to not egotistically walk out.
Thankyou Michele for teaching me that it is not ‘just a job’.
Shout out to this scene because I will now label an envelope ‘body-shipping
cash’.
Mrs.Kim is a G.O.A.T and I will never forget the valuable gaslighting lessons she taught me.
With that, I conclude this post.
If you have not watched The Gilmore Girls, please consider watching the show. I
would also love to hear your thoughts should you wish to share it with me. It
took me almost 1 year to complete the show and surprisingly memories of the
show still linger very lucidly and I catch myself reflecting on it every now
and then. I have shared some of those thoughts without spoiling the show too much.
I hope...
Also, a big thank you to Rue for suggesting that I watch Gilmore Girls and for patiently letting me complete the show.
