Tuesday, August 20, 2024



Hello Dolls & Gents,

'Lady Tulip', the name itself so strange and empty to me. I find myself grieving just a little bit. I mean it feels like a completely different time now. But hey, if I can't share my life with entire honesty, I might as well stay silent. Which I did.


It's almost laughable that in 2021 and 2022, I only uploaded one blog post (none in 2023) and yet, I had the audacity to keep this blog online, as though a piece of me would 'die' otherwise. Still, I shared absolutely no part of my life.

In a way, the neglected blog became an undeniable metaphor as to how I was 'living'. Forever pending action, thanks to unhinged behavior.

But since my last 3 blog posts, I feel like I have lived several lives and faced my harshest realities. Don't get me wrong, I have not returned to spill the positive chronicles of my life. The hiatus is simply over, and my intentions are to revive this platform to the actual state I envisioned it to be.

But you might say that none read blogs these days. A blog compared to other modern content formats is completely useless.

That's okay. It's not that serious. 



Friday, December 16, 2022



Hello Dolls & Gents, 

My companion for the past 3 days have been the phenomenal book written by Ryan Holiday: Ego Is the Enemy. I am convinced that while we are aggressively trapezing through adulthood, specifically post-COVID-19; this is the ultimate self-help book that can effortlessly make you stare at yourself in the mirror. 

I took the initiative to note down and study most of it, and now wish to share the points that hit me the hardest and facilitated honest and raw self-assessment. I hope that you too, will be able to takeaway something from this post. If you have not read the book and wish to do so, please exist this post now. 


1- Ego; an unhealthy belief in our own importance.

Your ego is not some power you’re forced to satiate at every turn. It can be managed. It can be directed.

 

2- “no adornment so becomes you as modesty, justice, and self-control; for these are the virtues by which, as all men are agreed, the character of the young is held in restraint.”

 

3- Talking and doing fight for the same resources. Research shows that while goal visualization is important, after a certain point our mind begins to confuse it with actual progress.

 

4- The power of being a student is not just that it is an extended period of instruction, it also places the ego and ambition in someone else’s hands. There is a sort of ego ceiling imposed—one knows that he is not better than the “master”.

 

5- The art of taking feedback is such a crucial skill in life, particularly harsh and critical feedback. We not only need to take this harsh feedback, but actively solicit it, labor to seek out the negative precisely when our friends and family and brain are telling us that we’re doing great.

 

6- In our endeavors, we will face complex problems, often in situations we’ve never faced before. Opportunities are not usually deep, virgin pools that require courage and boldness to dive into, but instead are obscured, dusted over, blocked by various forms of resistance. What is really called for in these circumstances is clarity, deliberateness, and methodological determination.

 

7- Purpose; is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself.

 

8- The critical work that you want to do will require your deliberation and consideration. Not passion. Not naïveté.

 

8- Our own path, whatever we aspire to, will in some ways be defined by the amount of nonsense we are willing to deal with.

 

9- Do you have any idea just how much work there is going to be? Not work until you get your big break, not work until you make a name for yourself, but work, work, work, forever and ever.

 

10- You can lie to yourself, saying that you put in the time, or pretend that you’re working, but eventually someone will show up. You’ll be tested. And quite possibly, found out.

 

11- Every time you sit down to work, remind yourself: I am delaying gratification by doing this. I am passing the marshmallow test. I am earning what my ambition burns for. I am making an investment in myself instead of in my ego.

 

12- When we achieve our own, we must resist the desire to pretend that everything unfolded exactly as we’d planned. There was no grand narrative. You should remember—you were there when it happened.


13- Only you know the race you’re running. That is, unless your ego decides the only way you have value is if you’re better than, have more than, everyone everywhere. More urgently, each one of us has a unique potential and purpose; that means that we’re the only ones who can evaluate and set the terms of our lives. Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose.


14- It’s time to sit down and think about what’s truly important to you and then take steps to forsake the rest.

 

15- You need to know what you don’t want and what your choices preclude. Because strategies are often mutually exclusive. 

 

16- Achieving success involved ignoring the doubts and reservations of the people around us. It meant rejecting rejection. It required taking certain risks. We could have given up at any time, but we’re here precisely because we didn’t. Persistence and courage in the face of ridiculous odds are partially irrational traits—in some cases really irrational. When it works, those tendencies can feel like they’ve been vindicated.

 

17- The demands and dream you had for a better life? The ambition that fueled your effort? These begin as earnest drives but left unchecked become hubris and entitlement. The same goes for the instinct to take charge; now you’re addicted to control. Driven to prove the doubters wrong? Welcome to the seeds of paranoia.

 

18- The sad feedback loop is that the relentless “looking out for number one” can encourage other people to undermine and fight us. They see that behavior for what it really is: a mask for weakness, insecurity, and instability. In its frenzy to protect itself, paranoia creates the persecution it seeks to avoid, making the owner a prisoner of its own delusions and chaos.

 

19- Ego needs honors in order to be validated. Confidence, on the other hand, is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition.


20- Most successful people are people you’ve never heard of. They want it that way. It keeps them sober. It helps them do their jobs.


21- Ego loves this notion, the idea that something is “fair” or not. Psychologists call it narcissistic injury when we take personally totally indifferent and objective events. We do that when our sense of self is fragile and dependent on life going our way all the time. Whether what you’re going through is your fault or your problem doesn’t matter, because it’s yours to deal with right now.


22- Lacking the ability to examine ourselves, we reinvest our energy into exactly the patterns of behavior that caused our problems to begin with.

 

23- In life, there will be times when we do everything right, perhaps even perfectly. Yet the results will somehow be negative: failure, disrespect, jealousy, or even a resounding yawn from the world.

 

24- We can’t let externals determine whether something was worth it or not. It’s on us.

 

25- “The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills.”

 

26- In the end, the only way you can appreciate your progress is to stand on the edge of the hole you dug for yourself, look down inside it, and smile fondly at the bloody claw prints that marked your journey up the walls.

 

27- The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in our work, we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person. It’s a fear of taking responsibility, of admitting that we might have messed up. It’s the sunk cost fallacy. And so we throw good money and good life after bad and end up making everything so much worse.


28- Most trouble is temporary . . . unless you make that not so. Recovery is not grand, it’s one step in front of the other. Unless your cure is more of the disease.

 

29- If your reputation can’t absorb a few blows, it wasn’t worth anything in the first place.


30- Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.


31- "And why should we feel anger at the world? As if the world would notice!" —EURIPIDES.

 

32- Especially because almost universally, the traits or behaviors that have pissed us off in other people—their dishonesty, their selfishness, their laziness—are hardly going to work out well for them in the end. Their ego and shortsightedness contains its own punishment.


33- At various points in our lives, we seem to have different capacities for forgiveness and understanding. And even when some people are able to carry on, they carry with them a needless load of resentment.

 

34- “People learn from their failures. Seldom do they learn anything from success.”


35- Aspiration leads to success (and adversity). Success creates its own adversity (and, hopefully, new ambitions). And adversity leads to aspiration and more success. It’s an endless loop.




 


 

 


Sunday, January 10, 2021



Hello Dolls & Gents, 

Female audiences are the least respected when it comes to Hollywood circulating all sorts of meetings; leading up to debacles that spit tropes the likes of ‘I am not like most girls’, and simmers down material adaptations to a confused genre of ‘dark, edgy but still soft and gullible’ (Riverdale, You...etc.). With that said, I believe that the material for Wonder Woman (2017) did not emerge from, nor was developed in the shadows or guise of such themes/tropes. In simpler terms, women… received the opportunity to witness Wonder Woman and strong female warriors, actually fight with vigor and overcome an antagonist clearly defined and acceptable within the terrains of fictional and non-fictional grounds. All the while depicting ‘Ms. Diana of Themyscira’ approach problems with an authentic feminine mindset, which didn’t betray her sex at the cost of appealing to impressionable demographics. In even more simpler terms, the movie had some serious fiction along with minute imperfections (symbolism behind the church tower sniper scene) which still worked astoundingly well and successfully evoked all the right emotions among audiences.

The first Wonder Woman movie was everything I had anticipated and dramatically, and eagerly wanted to lap-up just gift wrapped and handed to me. I appreciated it. I embraced it. I respected it. Although, little did we know the disappointment that would follow which is WW84.  So, what’s wrong with WW84? A lot. While the issues of continuity, bad writing (especially Wonder Woman’s little speech upon hijacking Maxwell Lorde’s transmission), rushed pacing (Diana’s underdeveloped mastery of the invisible arts), meaningless ‘jugglation’ of 2 powerful antagonists can be determined as creative choices, I am not fond of them. But those are not my biggest problems. The issues for me are the disguised harmful tropes and the fact that her knees don’t bend when she runs. I am kidding with the last one… or am I?



In all seriousness, WW84 fueled the moronic and half-baked propagation of Muslims in general. The only trope I would like to discuss today. Power ravenous (surrounded by his army 24 hours) and wealthy oil baron ‘Emir Said Bin Abydos’ was definitely not oversexed (thank the lord), but definitely inferior in comparison to the Western antagonist (who possess all the same generalities as Emir), an imbecile who could threaten the solitude of his own home and the West given the chance- and speaks extremely western dialogue, “heathens who dare trod upon it…”? sure…Said…sure. All themes that have notoriously defined Muslim leaders in Western films and TV shows dating as far back as the 60’s. So do tell, how does reviving an age old, shallow and racist concept add to the allure of the 80’s? Or shield young impressionable audiences in 2020 from perceiving the inapt Arab/Muslim on screen to be anything but in real-life?



With that said, this antagonist added no creative value, was undefined and abandoned, allowing room to perpetuate an ancient narrative that continues to hurt millions of people and marginalized groups- in a style we have witnessed over and over again. Emir’s character projection did not corroborate with lived-experiences nor the realities Muslims were facing in the 80’s thanks to oil and power narratives. However, Maxwell Lorde's actions definitely corroborated with the nightmare origins of Islamophobia. The colonialism and imperialism which granted wishes at a hefty price, only to later devalue the wish in manifestation (nationalism under the concept of self-determination of nations in the 30's). This is followed by the silly and unthreatened children who casually played ball in the middle of the street, their parents or guardians just 3ft away overlooking the bizarre situation (depicting uncivilized qualities, aloof parenting and mindset which fails to perceive potential threats… quite the opposite of reality) only to later encounter the ‘Western Savior’. 



In the meantime, I’d like Steve Trevor to pick up the hanging car pendant with the names of our God and Prophet embedded- which he so passionately thwacked to save Diana (a pattern proceeding from the first film which demolishes religious/sacred ornaments or heritage as the means to alleviate Diana, the ‘God Killer’). It’s truly the implicit details imparted and engrained in our mindset which innately dictate how we perceive the world. It always has been the case since the inception of propaganda and media. If this weren’t true, Maxwell Lord himself wouldn’t have deemed satellites as the most efficient weapon at his disposal.

I don’t want to be a bum and attack a character that I hold so dear to my heart, solely for this trope. I understand that considering the time, resource and effort invested, WW84 is no small feat. Moreover, there were so many scenes I genuinely cherished even though I had set higher expectations for such an excellent character. Because those scenes possessed the true essence of the character, and those creative choices made me fall in love with the idea of Wonder Woman once again. But I am not stupid. I call out the blatant disrespect which ultimately establishes the fact that is; Wonder Woman from WW84, is not ‘my’ hero.




Friday, December 25, 2020

 


Maldives President's Office
Photo: Mihaaru

Hello, Dolls & Gents,

When you feel proud of your nation, that adoration seeps into your dreams, goals and efforts; and it bleeds into your achievements and milestones. Every step of the journey, you associate yourself with that pride and adoration, and end-up manifesting into a symbol…a representation that is your nation to every, and any, onlooker. I defined my outlook and my pride for Maldives early on. I remember being a tiny 4-7-year-old advocate to every tourist I met, every foreign doctor I interacted with, international students and the multiple expat tutors and more. As a grown-up in very simple terms, I tell them “Maldives is not only about tuna and eye candy resorts, nor is it about sitting atop coconut palm trees sipping coconut as the sun goes down (someone’s literal understanding of Maldivian islanders). It’s about a toiling community, value-systems, the under documented but very crucial culture and history that somehow acts as the fundamental conduits pushing this nation to become something better…”. As you can tell, still an advocate, but… a realist.

I always hoped that I would be able to become an idea that my country would be proud of. A lot of it stems from the values shared by my parents, and their constant motivation demanding that I reach for the stars. Although as proud as I am of my nation, I’ve learnt since, that the nation can be… selective. I represented Maldives throughout my 9-year-long period of acquiring an international education. I graduated from INTI International University, one of the top leading education institutes when it comes to Mass Communication in Malaysia. While I pursued my Bachelors at INTI, they were part of the laureate network, and they continue to partner with award-winning highly acclaimed universities. Apart from pouring my heart and soul to hone my knowledge and skills, I decided to put a full-stop on my life at Malaysia to pursue an internship in the Maldives. So that I may conclude that chapter of my life having served my country. As a point to prove that I hadn’t forgotten what it means to be a Maldivian, and to guarantee to whomever it mattered to, that this was the beginning of my efforts to contribute the knowledge I had acquired to make in impact. And so, I decided to give it a shot… to see if I was worthy of recognition as per the publicly announced criteria set by the Presidency of Maldives… prepared to accept any outcome.

As you can tell, I was disqualified…due to lack of evidence which corroborated my achievements. I instantly knew what it meant. I was not worthy by their standards. A whopping torpedo that shattered the value of every resource invested, and an official undermining of the value of the qualification I had earned (First Class Honors and a University Award addressed from University of Hertfordshire). Mind boggling to say the least. There were no confetti, no implicit symbol that was a pat on the back. Just a lifeless black and white response staring back at me from a silent screen.

To every person who achieved a National Award, or a National Award of Recognition- Congratulations; and we can’t wait to witness your positive influences. To everyone else, who was perplexingly or unjustly snubbed, the journey is ahead of us. I say this due to the debate that has ignited on Twitter over the past few days. Our goal was never to be in the running to seek approval. We are stronger than that. Whatever we do, it will forever be sincerely governed and directed by the root admiration for our nation. Because we envision a day when our work (whichever line-of-work that is) will one day benefit our society and promote prosperity for OUR people. That one day, the international community would extend their hands in collaboration as a by-product of our endearing efforts to represent our nation. Let this be a hint to the fact that WE are the change in-motion that would one day take this nation to a point in yearning. One day… Until then, work hard, stay safe and most importantly… sabr.

I would like to thank #INTIFAM for changing my life, and for always encouraging me to test my limits. Thank you from the bottom of heart. 




 

 

Saturday, May 30, 2020






Hello Dolls & Gents,

When I witness atrocities perpetrated; when communities whose ideals, beliefs and callings resonates with my own are constantly oppressed merely due to differing variables, I lose sleep.



George Floyd’s life was mercilessly stripped away from him and his loved ones, when a Minneapolis grocery store reported him for allegedly trying to pass a counterfeit $20 bill; and his arrest unjustly took a turn for the worst.  

Derek Chauvin and 2 other officers on scene were filmed pressing Floyd to the pavement as he continued to plea for his life. Shortly after fighting to speak with extreme difficulty, Floyd became unresponsive and his limp body could be seen lifted by paramedics. He was pronounced dead.

Initially I felt rage. Rage at the blue, sworn to protect us, and blue that is ought to be a beacon of hope. But the rage diffused and stead welled sadness. When is it ever that simple?

I don’t have the will to berate anyone. Without a doubt, George Floyd’s death was Murder. And I place my faith once again, in the system to build on to the initial arrest charges and ensure that every officer involved is indicted and charged with due process.

But what can we take away or rather reflect on from this situation?

- Let us very literally ‘take away’ the ethnocentrism that still continue to shape our mindset towards other people’s culture, race and religion. Stop! Just stop. In 2020, we still have a long way to go to attain the awareness we so desire. Otherwise the perpetuating fate of George Floyd, victims like him and the fate of the Officers will without fail emerge repeatedly as we make history.

You have the power to take a closer look at everyone around you, and despite privileges to be extremely perceptive. It’s a practice that needs to be perfected, and impossible to master overnight. Shut down those dark thoughts that constantly detects and mocks flaws (as defined degrading or abnormal by your standards) among other people or communities. Remember that you played no part in inventing, molding and governing ‘other people’s’ culture and religion; nor did you have the say in creation itself (appearance).

When the need to loath and discriminate emerge because you feel oh so superior, bear in mind the following:

You were created from dirty fluid, made progeny (from a quintessence of the nature of a fluid despised). All material and privileges combined at your disposition that elevate your status quo will not help deny your origin. You didn’t have any say in selectively guaranteeing that you were born with the right image, (by your desired standards) to the right community (by your desired standards). Why should you limit and enforce your thoughts and ideals on people who are entirely different from you that carry their own learned thoughts and ideals dear to them? Why on earth would you have the right to reduce anyone, or to cripple anyone’s human rights, simply because you don’t like the way they look or behave?

Instead invest more energy, and seek means of empathy, broaden your knowledge about the world and all the different people that reside on this planet and what you can do to eradicate oppression and challenge racism.

-Media has long primed and framed headlines and content to suit political prerogatives and agendas. We have heard this a million times, yet we still fail to comprehend it. If you wish to fight a modern war, fact check what you read and hear, avoid unethical content producers and opinion leaders and strengthen your beliefs mitigating harmful bias through research, personal experiences (never rely on a single experience or impression) and most importantly spread the word. 

It is high time that we did the latter and start respecting people of color and honoring their fight in paving the way to build platforms for other races, religions and minority communities so that they too can be heard. We have a responsibility for we are immensely indebted to their resilience in fighting for rights, representation and equality, justice; and endurance of unfathomable suffering.

Their struggle is our biggest inspiration and motivation to ensure that we are heard, seen and understood. Especially as Muslims. So, when you witness a corrupt system that unfairly attack people of color and strip them of their rights and reduce them to nothing and attempt to erase the impact of their diaspora, you stand up for them. Nothing less should be expected of you as you would wish the same done unto you in time of need.

-Shaming the Minneapolis protests say more about you then it says about them. Once again empathize. Challenge racism (don’t stay complicit), not the ones challenging it.  It’s time to get rid of your own learned anti-black feelings (forgive, and advice, and educate those that molded the anti-black mindset in your upbringing). Even your intelligence is worth more then degrading an entire group of people for sense of security or pride.  

May God grant George Floyd’s family patience to endure this difficult time. And may we keep up our spirit to stand against our oppressors. Remembering oppressed people and communities around the world every day.



Wednesday, August 14, 2019



Photo Taken From The National


Dear Mrs. Priyanka Chopra Jonas,

I commend all that you are and have always rooted for your capabilities that traverse your exemplary personality, beauty, and intelligence from Bollywood to International triumph. Simultaneously, I was overjoyed to have conducted a thorough content analysis of Quantico for my Bachelor's thesis and it most definitely broadened my perspective on your talent. However, without a doubt, your recent interaction at Beautycon LA has rendered me speechless.

What a disheartening and dishonest approach. You!... you who tell women around the world to stand up for what they believe in gaslit another, and shattered all that you preach with only a few words, "Girl don't yell... Don't embarrass yourself!"

So I guess, the women that you persistently empower are allowed to stand up for what they believe in, as long as it’s up to par with matters of interest to you? There is no denying that the matter of peace is a subjective, conflicting and a complicated matter. Although your reasoning fell completely flat. If your 'tweet' demonstrated patriotism, then as did Ayesha Malik, by being brave enough to express her concerns to you. Yet you simply and unreasonably ... humiliated her despite your futile attempt at praising her enthusiasm.

Priyanka, you were not obligated to apologize for your brief and honest tweet. In fact, you were expected to defend your ‘middle ground’ without sounding condescending and in a way that emanates your humanity at large for thousands of your supporters. That… we could have respected. Unlike the average Jane Doe, you have performed your duties to better the world gracefully and visited plenty of regions affected by oppression and war (the very subject that you deem part of patriotism…wow). And at Beautycon LA, you took a huge leap backward from all that progress… when you didn’t demand that Ayesha receive the chance to express her concerns. When you didn’t empathize with her situation, and when you turned such an empowering opportunity against a victim.

I can't help wonder how you would have reacted if someone took away the power of speech from you, just as her microphone was taken from her... I bet you would have 'yelled' too! You would have been heard at any cost right? Sadly ordinary people cannot project propaganda through impressive on-screen storytelling, hence a microphone at a Q&A session is the next best thing.

If Ayesha Malik brought the topic of hypocrisy to the table, you confirmed your double standards to the world. Sad to think that you played such a crucial on-screen role (Quantico), and didn’t learn the most important lesson of all. To question political climates and the systems that exploit innocent civilians and groups for less than diplomatic reasons.

As a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador for Peace, you could have handled the situation differently and you still can! So please redefine the concept of peace for impressionable groups of supporters. We are all here for love, right? So prove it.







*Note*

I uploaded this privately for my close friends on Instagram. However, later decided to publish it here, as the situation keeps flashing in my mind constantly.

Remembering oppressed communities and groups around the world every day.




Sunday, April 21, 2019


Hello Dolls & Gents, 


Here is something I put together based on my recent interests. With internship rolling around, I have been doing some shopping. And I just might put together a haul or style book for you.


Capsule Wardrobe


I have been utilizing a capsule wardrobe for over a year now, and it has been a minimal and simple, but pretty experience. With new pieces being integrated into my wardrobe I thought about the ultimate monopoly wardrobe for work in 2019. If you have any ideas or preferences, let me know in the comments below, I am curious. 



Thank you so much for reading this post, and I will see you on the next one.